Who's that knocking at my door?

This month I began to chart my menstrual cycle. I was inspired to do this after reading a review of Thirteen Moons - a cycle charting handbook and journal, by Jane Hardwicke Collings. In truth, it is something I have been thinking about for a while. I have been aware that my cycle is in tune with the moon - menstruating around the dark/new moon and ovulating just before the full moon, but I wanted to explore this in a deeper way - recording dreams, moods, energy levels and creativity etc. I began charting these in my 13 moons journal on the first day of my June menses . So far so good. Low energy and inwardness in the first few days and then a burst of activity at the end of my period. I looked forward to experiencing the creative and sexy time of the mid-cycle at the full moon. On day 13 I felt a strong cramp like pain on the left side of my belly. I remembered Jane, in her sample chart had noted a left sided ovulatory pain on day 12, so I duly did the same. That night I had the most amazing and vivid dream and the following night I had 2  further vivid dreams. I began to feel increasingly tired and drained and low in spirits. I could not understand why - was I not about to be at the peak of my most creative, energetic and attractive moon phase? Full and round and dazzling? If I didn't know better....
Well - what did I know? To my complete surprise, as I prepared for bed on day 17, I found I was bleeding. "Just spotting" I told my husband. Not so - it has turned into a full blown period, just 13 days after the end of my last one.
Now I may very well be jumping the gun here. Menopause is not a single event, it is a natural progression over many years - but I really feel I have heard the faint knockings of my inner crone! I will be 49 in November after all. She has to come out sometime. Suddenly all my dreams made sense in a different way to how I first perceived them.   I am slightly horrified, yet excited and anticipating at the same time. A bit of a complication is that I am still breastfeeding my two year old and it is my intention to carry on until he self weans. How will that work out? Is it a problem? I am still coming to terms with this second period in a month- it is really quite disorientating. I also don't know how I will manage to stay healthy enough to breastfeed, if I am going to have very short cycles too.
I hope to remain positive, though and listen to my body during this transition, however long it may take. This blog is a way for me to record the journey that will open the door to the Crone.